I’ve been craving some bacon and chocolate lately so I went to the grocery story with ten bucks to get a quart of chocolate ice cream.  With any luck I hoped to find a deal that I might be able to acquire two quarts so imagine my joy when I get there to find a huge variety of chocolatey delights for only $1.99 each!!

I stand in line with my four, count ‘em, 4 quarts of chocolate chunky frozen goodness and ten dollar bills.  The line’s moving quickly but all I can think about is pouring bacon crumbles over this stuff.  My turn at the register comes and the cashier quickly works up my total, which looks like it’s going to be over 25 bucks, then he swipes my “club card” and the final total is … $15.85.

The cashier pulls out his store circular and checks.  Sure enough, that’s the deal-eo!  But there’s a limit on two quarts per purchase.  There’s always a catch.  Okay, fine.  I just really need some chocolate.  He takes two of the quarts and removes them from the total.  And from my bags.  But I need to check which ones I’m allowed to purchase because one of the four isn’t as chocolately as the others and sure enough, it’s in my bag already and needs to be swapped asap.  The bacon to chocolate ratio is very important.

Suddenly, a manager pops up out of nowhere and overrides the action, then he’s gone.  Bam, these guys are fast, but I actually want one of the flavors he’s taken out and I tell the cashier while I attempt to swap it with one in my bag.

He abruptly says, “May I have your club card again sir!”

I try to tell him about my swap idea while fumbling through my wallet and pockets looking for the precious club card that grants these $1.99 chocolate wishes, then he realizes that he still has my club card and swipes it for me.  Now I can see he’s barely paying attention and certainly unaware of my choco-baco dilemma.  So I try to explain again, “I’d prefer one of these flavors over the one already in the bag.”

“That’ll be $3.98, sir.”

Damn!  Why is he battering me like this?  I hand him the four bucks and try to explain my preference in flavor once again.

ZIP! ZIP! DING! … Ca-Ching!  Lickity-Split!  My dollar bills go into the till, the change dispenser spits out my two pennies and the cashier hands me my receipt and says, ”May I have your club card again sir!”

Okay, now I’m thinking, WTF?!  Does he know how to work this frakkin thing or what?  This guy is about to drive me completely bacos!  I’m usually soft spoken and tend to mumble but now it’s clear there’s some hearing impairment or selective judgement at work here.  I mean, this guy is going so fast and he’s not even looking at me.

So just as calmly as before, I repeat myself,  ”I’d really prefer one of these flavors instead, please.”

Then at last!!  He reaches for the other quart.  He grabs it.  BEEP!  Then the other one.  BEEP!  The second pair of quarts go into my bag.

“That’ll be $3.98, sir.”

So, finally, I’m like, “Oh, I see what you did there!”

So now I’m chuckling, and I say, “I’m sorry, I thought you weren’t listening to me and it turns out you heard me just fine”.

THANKS MAN!

Of all the weird things this has got to be the most weirdest.  Everyone’s played this forum game, it’s an exquisite corpse of sorts, and there have been many variations on the theme.  If you’ve visited my good friend Maliaki’s website any time in the past five+ years you have likely come across the Three Word Story there.

When the story got to about 50 pages we started gathering regularly in his studio to record an audio version (ala Firesign Theater / Frank Zappa).  Out of that came some of the wackiest stuff I have ever heard.  It was also the most challenging audio project I have ever worked on because it was nothing like editing real music!  It was chaos.

Tune In to Radio BlahBlah

So now there’s an external link on the Three Word Story Wikipedia page featuring the www.blahblah.com 3WS as the longest story of its kind now that it has more than 10,000 entries!

Plus, who else has audio recordings of something so weird?

I joined this little art community called Exquisite Corpse (pre-automation ~ 2002) but was never delivered a slice until after it’s automated reintroduction. I worked on about 10 corpses and then the site founder closed up shop.  The gallery is still there but the community has moved so now I finally found my way over to ‘Shae and Company’.  A New Exquisite Corpse.  Good things will come of this.

It’s difficult to talk about the abstract so we have to invent a special language to talk about the things we cannot perceive.  If these dimensions of space-time require imagination to perceive, then is all of reality an illusion?

Watch these two great videos to have your mind blown.

Understanding The Fourth Dimension

For the past year I have wondered what this site would become and how it would look.  Taking some inspiration from a favorite 3D modeling program I’ve decided on this simple approach using actions which also coincide with the beginning development of a web app/widget.

Orange.  Something about it is adventurous, mysterious and well, weird.  The condiment theme fits with some concepts that I will introduce as the widget evolves and becomes available in different refreshing flavors.

ENJOY!

When the newspaper first emerged it acted as a democratic voice until the press was owned by early corporations.

Then the radio became the transmitter of the free mans voice, until it was taken over by powerful corporations and federal bureaucracy.

The television, a modern media channel owned by corporations that sell you the news they want you see.
Then suddenly, something so huge and free emerges that brings liberation to the whole world as a true democratic beacon…the internet. And if that isn’t enough, the internet takes over the radio and the newspapers and clearly, the television is quickly becoming the internet.

Unless we let the corporations get control of the internet and turn it back into the TV and the remote control that corporations want of your lives.

KILL YOUR TELEVISION

Stop watching TV.
Stop buying CD’s and DVD’s
Stop listening to the radio and reading newspapers

Start using torrents and the pirates bay
Start downloading and streaming your music and video entertainment
Start tuning in to independent channels

The TRUTH is out there!

AND IT’S FREE!!!

Ever at a loss about what gift to give on a day like today?

No, this is not a wok.

Similar in design to a steel drum, the Hang (pronounced hung) drum is created by PANArt in Switzerland and it is rather difficult to obtain because they are made by only two people!

Dean Chamberlain's Psychedelic Pioneer Series - Available from MAPS

LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD LSD

This installation of Spread The Weird consists of nutty goodness that can be enjoyed by everyone.  Some things may stick to the roof of your mouth.

Feel free to use your fingers.

This spread was made on machines that share other nuts and bolts.

Please tell your friends.